my mr white boy

I am so disappointed in you, not that you ever gave a fuck about anything. 

you think the world revolves around you? 

i beg to differ. 

you hold too much ego than what your body can ever suck up to. 

im not lovin this. 

im not lovin that. 

thats all you can ever achieve. 

i hate it that you always find time to criticize me.

and i hate it more that i can never tell you off.

i hate it even more that i care for you despite all that you did.

Jerk, you never seem to appreciate what God lay before you.

You are never thankful of what He gave you.

You only find time to criticize my beliefs.

You are not me and clearly we do not share the same beliefs.

But dont you ever stare at me like that when i told you i had to go to the nearest mosque to pray. 

You dont understand.

You dont respect. 

And for that, im leaving.

You will always be in my prayers. 

Goodbye Whiteboy, Go back to your country if you must. 

My babes

i will always remember the things we have been through together. i am better now because of the dose of encouragements i receive from these beautiful ladies. i will grow up but i will never grow apart from this friendship. 

moved on, a new phase of life.

www.devinedecree.tumblr.com

Syukur 21

so i have decided to two time blogger with tumblr. hehe

www.downinmouth.tumblr.com :)

okay i shall start my revision...
but i wanna watch syukur 21 first. it reminds me of woodlands :')

Hot And Cold

The only person so significant in your life, is giving you the treatment. the thing that bothers you so much is not being as important to her as she is to you. 

I cant choose, im really confuse.

everyone is pushing me to my limits. 

i wish you would stop and pounder. i care for you so much. 

Trust your instincts monsie, :'(

goodnight

Sundays

I Love Sundays because its "knowledge for the afterlife" day

So here is one for you to pounder over 

What is the one thing God can never do?

well the answer is simple. He can Never create another God. Because God is uncreated. He is already there :)

and it is stated in the hadith that when the angel spread his wings, its half the size of a mountain. hehe. it depends on which mountain we are talking about here. i would love to think of mount everest ^^V

so fellow brothers and sister,

my ustaz advise us to go to school with the niat (intention)

that we want to learn and understand His creations and that may He bless us with an open heart and an open mind :)

-monsie 

Squirrels

i wanna learn how you acquire skills that might prepare you for future leadership positions.

if my cityname wasnt monsie, you wouldnt recognize me anymore.

if i decided to change the way i appear, you wouldnt recognize me anymore.

no you dont know me.

someone told me that i should stop being a saint and preach others because i am not perfect myself.

lets just make things clear here. i am not being a saint, i am trying my best to be good. and no dont even get me started on my beliefs. just because i hang out with people who smoke, who drink who do drugs and tatoos, it doesnt mean i am one of them. so dont make conclusions about me. you have no right to judge me. may i remind you, who picked you up when you fell, who was the one who called you every night to make sure you are all right? i am so ashamed of you. do not forget who made you.

i am proud to be who i am today. i am proud of my change.

may Allah s.w.t give you the hidayah sissy.

i have nothing else to say to you.

but just so you know, i am drawing a line. that is your space, this is mine. i will watch you from afar. and when you fall, i will pick you up again. because that is what friends do.

all right enough updates, i shall start on geography and biology. and then im gonna help sissy with her homework and revision.

i love my family.

TGIF

TGIF really. haha. alrighty so i have an ulcer on my right cheek and therefore i am chewing, swallowing and smiling only on the left. thank God for my years of left side dominance. left-handers FTW

Today i had social studies and english papers. i tried my best for social studies though. globalisation came out. i studied the format for hindrance and help. haha. english paper was so undeniably tough. half the time i could not even understand the passage. but passage b was manageable though. cos i read the book in which the excerpt was taken from. its all right. its mid years. im doing my best to see where i stand so that i can improve on my standards. :)

today i did something that i thought i was incapable of doing. it is something good most definately and i thank God for giving enough courage to do so. I am secretly proud of myself because i have made an impact in her life and i have given her the emotional support that she needs. she was a stranger, but now a friend. Amin. 

Dear God most gracious most merciful, the one and only.  i pray that you be there in times of her needs. i pray that you give your healing grace upon her sister. i pray that you strengthen her faith in you. Dear God i ask that you give her the patience and tolerance to go through such a painful stage in her life right now. i pray that you grant me enough wisdom and courage to be there in terms of her emotional and spiritual support. i ask all these from you because i know good things comes from you. Ar-rahman, Ar-rahim. amin ya rabbal alamin 

Dear friend, keep strong. these tests are put forward to call out your courage. 

lots of love,

monsie :)

Random moments

i love this picture. hahah. Bestest birthday (Y)

Crossed eyed

oh how i love crossing my eyes and making silly faces when someone is trying to talk sense into me (Y)

hahahahaahha

this morning i got a text message saying

"good morning you are B E A U tiful! and i miss you alot"

that text message made my day, it was from kimmy (Y)

random much.

today i am having my practical exams. my banana oxidized :(

but thank God, babe gave me her banana. awwwww

ok i am currently in the computer lab updating my coursework. :)

and dagna is entertaining me with songs that make me feel so silly. she is feeling really bad cos she accidentally pressed print and she dint print double sided. waste paper, waste ink. its ok, we all make silly mistakes sometimes :)

bestest is the best best best best person in the whole wide world!!!

yes, chem test is postponed till tomorrow.

i love my life

and i love God the most (L) (Y)

:)

I Absolutely Love My Babes

Status Update : Alive And Still Breathing

This Tri-love-angle thingy is driving me crazy.

Firstly i am really grateful that my elder brother got into La Salle And i am one extremely proud sister *claps* because i know that he was always picking himself up. he was forced to be independent on his own. and im really proud of him. 

Umi cooked asam pedas today (to celebrate the good news) hehe. 

im checking out my timetable and to do lists. my table is filled with post its :( F&N is drifting me away from humanities and maths. I am not taking Chem test on monday, therefore i pushed that aside. im still revising Biology, im still updating my vocabulary book and im still reading Cikgu's karangans. ok, so i am so prepared to flop for mid years. because my study table doesnt allow me to cover all my humanities and maths topics by mid years. but i am sure that i am able to make it for prelims insyAllah. im worried for bestest. i hope she will be able to adapt to change in her environment :(

about 12 and 1/2 hahah

ok i shall start on my f&n now. nights.

Mono

And This time, I mean it

I just need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and someone to lean on. because this part of my life stings silent hurt and hopefully reaps blessings. Why do i seem weak and vulnerable? 

Blocked nose. last minute coursework updating. chemistry test. Practical. Food Label. Madrasah Presentation. Phone on silent and in my drawer and locked it. gave the key to nikita. nikita running in and out of the house. preparing kitchen. brewing coffee. taking antibiotics. rashes. thinking of showering again. MYE next week. Melayu paper coming up soon. halfway reading the kamus. zombiefarm, no, no more zombiefarm. king julian, morris. madagascar penguins. bestest asleep. blocked nose. Goodbyes

Monoatheist

Dear God Please heal me, i have a big exam on monday and i need to prepare for it. Guide me to prioritize my needs and wants. Teach me to stay strong and give me tests to build up my tolerence level. I ask all these from you because i know all Good things come from you for you are the one and only and the most gracious, most merciful. Ar-rahman, Ar-rahim. Amin. 

This is so addictive i keep playing it on my 1/2 owned itouch :P

(L)

im glad somehow things are getting better. i just can never stand not being able to save a friendship from being ruined. Dear God, please build back up the trust wall in all of us, let us be able to care for one another once more and dear God, please stray us away from Jealousy because jealousy is like poison built in the heart and gradually flowing throughout our system. I ask all these from you because i know all good things come from you. Amin. 

I should stop giving people the impression of a cold treatment. maybe i am the cause of the insecurities in my friends. :(

-.-

remember what happened when you broken up? i was ALWAYS there for you. ALWAYS. do you know how tiring it is? but i still did because i care for you. because i care for you so much and i just wanted you to get over your heartbreak. remember how you turned me down during cheer? and for me to want to speak to you again after that?yes our friendship is the rockiest.  if anyone speaks badly of you, i STAND up for you. because i treat you as a really good friend. and now you choose to get all so upset over small matters? and in this heat of anger you spread things that you ASSUME. Why dont you speak upfront to me? its only a minute matter. speak to me and stop assuming babe. whatever i heard from the others, i choose not to believe. i want to hear it from you. so stop whatever you are doing. you want me to treat you like an adult, well you have to start acting like one. PERIOD.

Some people are so good at acting. Oscar winning acting that comes so naturally. 

Fridays :D

Happy earth week :)

Worthy

haha my cousin on my daddy's side posted this up on fb. its so funny.

Some friends are really not worth it. they expect you to be there for them when they are falling down. and being the caring self you are, you did. you pick them up and give them the strength they need to get up again. and when they are already up, they mistreat you and they forget your sacrifices for them. Ah wells, no comments. "One who doesnt get angry even if provoked will be promised a mansion in paradise."

You do not question my faith. You are not God. Remember That sweetheart. -.-

-monsie

As before, through the medium of the Hadith, the event of Isa’s (Jesus Christ) return and all that follows has been accurately recorded. He will descend on Mount Afeeq, on the white Eastern Minaret of Damascus. He will descend from the heavens with his hands resting on the shoulders of two angels. His cheeks will be flat and his hair straight. When he lowers his head it will seem as if water is flowing from his hair, when he raises his head, it will appear as though his hair is beaded with silvery pearls. He will descend during the time of Fajr and the leader of the Muslims will address him thus, ‘O`Prophet of Allah, lead the prayer.’

Isa will decline with the words, ‘The virtue of this nation that follows Islam is that they lead each other.’ Implying that he will pray behind the imam (leader of the Muslims) as the deen of Allah was completed after revelation of Qura'n and Muhammad being the last prophet of Allah.

After the prayer, Isa will prepare himself to do battle and shall take up a spear. An army shall return from a campaign launched before the arrival of Isa. Isa shall set out in pursuit of Dajjal. All those who embraced the evil of Dajjal shall perish even as the breath of Isa touches them. The breath of Isa shall precede him as far as the eye can see. Dajjal will be captured at Lud. The Dark Messiah shall begin to melt, as salt dissolves in water. The spear of Isa shall plunge into Dajjal’s chest, ending his dreaded reign. The followers of Dajjal will be rooted out, for even the trees and rocks will speak out against them. Jesus will break the cross and kill pig (the animal), which will be an indication that his teaching did not include legitimacy of these two. Then all battles shall cease and the world will know an age of peace. Then truly the sheep will lie in the shadow of the wolf without fear. The rule of Jesus will be just and all shall flock to him to enter the folds of the one true religion, Islam

omgomgomgomg

:(

The above is a picture of the cloud of volcanic ashes of the volcano of Eyjafjallajokull of Iceland (dont worry i cant pronounce it too) so thats the top story for today. hehe. the clouds of ashes is blowing towards the countries Ireland, Britain, France, Belguim, Netherlands, Germany, Denmark Poland, Sweden, Norway, Finland and Russia. All flights towards these areas are cancelled because the Volcanic ash can wreck the flight ability of propellers and jet aircrafts. The ash particles is so fine that it can invade the spaces between the rotating machinery and jam them causing them to stop functioning. yes and all these is brought to you by your ever so lovely reporter, ME! *inserts egoist face here*

Things i learnt today at Madrasah

1. Zoroastrain is the religion that conversed prophet David's Message
2. There are four mentioned religions in the Quran mainly Christianity, Judaism, Zoroastrain and Islam
3. There are such things as professional beggars
4. Satanism and Illuminatis are Cults against the main branch "christianity"
5. We are living in the New World Order age (NWO)
6. And brother Faizal has 3 sons. :)

hehe ok and i am so screwed because i did not bring home my Geography textbook and i have a test tomorrow. i think i should access edu learn now.

and yes i love Sunday DAYS classes :DD

-monsie

All that jazz

i recieved a really sweet suprise today on fb. thanks danica (L)

i cant wait for you to come back here in june hehe

Funnnnyyyy

I watched a documentary on starhub cable on travel and living. its so funny how the westerners perceive singaporeans to be Fast changing and courteous when i had an argument with a small boy who bullied my cat! *inserts angry face here*

Ok i shall not spent much time online. i shall hit the books now. 

goodbye fellow lovers, May you be blessed with wisdom and poise

yes Poise especially. i saw a really dark indian girl in the train just now but she had poised and she dressed up so prettily. she reminds me of a barbie doll. i love her eyes and she had pink nails and pink lipstick. ahhh so pretty :)

Dang It

Can you believe that my brother threw away a packet of dory fish fillet that i left on the sink to defrost :( what a waste. ok he is going to pay for it. im glad. and he just called me a swine :( isnt that long over? :(

"Thats for you, every single drop of my unfiltered blood" 

bestest im always here for you. i lovelovelove you 

-monsie

Ugh take a knife and claw out your heart already

you are so good at putting me in positions i dont ever want to be in. 

FTW

humph

i dont understand people.

if  i am knowledgable and wishes to share my knowledge by participating actively during lessons people roll thier eyes and show signs of annoyance.

if i stand for my faith and beliefs, people say things about me and pin point all my negatives. 

if good things cannot be shared then what do you want me to share? words like "fuckfuckfuck" and malicious gossips? i do not understand these people really.

why cant you just mind your own business? its my life, at the end of the day i am buried 7 feet under with my own body kankan? jasad dan roh saya sendiri. bukanlah saya buat jahat. saya cuma mahu kongsi apa yang saya tahukan? tsk. 

bagaimana mahu maju kalau pemikiran mundur? perkara kecil di besar besarkan, yang wajib diabaikan! humph!

tak paham betul lah! :(

Nicholas Braun! (L)

Ignorance is bliss

so i was feeling rather down and yasmeen told me to watch tv with her and so i did with little hope that it will make me feel better. but all and behold, i watched madagascar penguin and i can never ever erm ok nvm. from now on i shall watch madagascar penguins with yasmeen everyday. because king julian is so adorable and the penguins are so quick witted. awww im in love with king julian hehe. 

once toy story 3 comes out, we are gonna watch it as a family. 

Battle

"Would You Like To Continue Unprotected?"

i wonder how you are doing right now. I Miss your silly jokes and your intelligent talks. I miss your "tuii mah?" i hope you are all right. i gave you the favour you wanted.

My eternal absence

and wh

Extremist

why are we all created to be extremist?

untagging typographies meant for me. I wish it was that simple. I wish it was that easy. I wish we could just press the delete button. I wish we could all erase everything away. I wish it was as easy as literally washing our hands off.

Its funny how a bridge leading to one's heart that took days, weeks to build can be broken down in a matter of seconds.

Dear sunset, this is the ugliest goodbye i have seen. Let the sunrise save me from weeping and spinning another sad story.

Its space love, outta this world.
We are all floating aimlessly with no gravity.


I will always pray for you mr astronaut. May you and your mum be safe and well. Amin.


God has better plans for us. Believe.

thank you

Dear God,
What are you trying to show me?
Please guide me through this phase.
I dont want to turn back to what i was.
Dear God most gracious most merciful please
Have mercy on me. Ar-rahman, Ar-rahim please guide me through this for i know you are the one and only. And that good things only come from you.
Amin ya rabbanal alamin.


:'(

_|_

I Love my elder brother (L)

its ridiculous how some people use blogs to defend one's "rights" haha.

some people are TTM ridiculously insane.

Crossing one's arms while in an argument suggest that you do not accept what the other party says.

sigh, all the best in your life really if you refuse to accept one's side of the story.

so anyway, apologising means you treasure this relationship more than your ego. sigh, some adults are so hypothetical TTM

anyway F&N trails was a disaster. haha, it was fun though, 5 hours for 5 dishes. what a slowpoke i am. hehe. i shall go try again but i ought to do my pratical time plan first. hmm ohhhh time is TTM not on my side :(

Geography is aweeee. hehehe

i feel my Dad's neurons in me now.

i miss how great of a man my dad is.

if he is around i am sure that people will never take advantage of us.

sometimes i wonder, what if the tables were turn unto them. how would they feel? will they learn to appreciate others more? oh well, i am sure God has better plans for us :)

and for all my lovely related stalkers,

"What ever" *does the kiddy hand motion*

and P.S Get a life, MUACKS!

with love,
M :)

my solemn hour

Bestest (L)

This part of my life is called "stronger"

perhaps with these i have to learn to prioritize my needs.

i dont need anymore of repeated past on me,

i have to learn to outgrow.

i have to learn to live independently again.

Last night, i killed a soul.

What a horrible person i am.

I wont know how to ever face you again.

I'll just hide myself at the very end of the world now.

Monsie,

do not ever allow anyone or anything set you aside from your priorities.

Time will tell and surely Let God decide things for you.

its ok, i will be ok.

-monsie

`

Like a drip of water added into the ocean; an act with no impact

There will always be a time when i thought i could be everything and the next moment someone provokes your thoughts and channel you back into 2008. and then you thought, "hey, no, what are you dreaming about?"

This part of my life is called "Realization"

no monsie, it will never work out

nike

and they say
''if you love somebody, let him go if he comes back, he is meant for you.''

I think its time i heed advices.

Recharge Your Iman

Just like plants, We need to Water our hearts with prayer, stand ourselves down with roots of Aqidah and seek warmth in our hearts with Sadaqah. And Only Then will the flowers of faith bloom

Miss Choo Said " Earth is not something we inherit from our ancestors,

Its what we are borrowing from our children" .

With Love, Monsie ^^V

Parachute

I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won't tell anybody
Won't tell anybody
They want to push me down
They want to see you fall (down)
Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around
I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound
Won't tell anybody Won't tell anybody
They want to see us fall They want to see us fall

I don't need a parachute
Baby, if I've got you
Baby, if I've got you
I don't need a parachute
You're gonna catch me
You're gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down

Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late night and
You are your own worst enemy
You'll never win the fight
Just hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
It's you and me up against the world
It's you and me

I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of loveI
'll fall into you I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of love
I won't fall out of,I won't fall out of love
I'll fall into you

ignorance

Somehow, i know that when i am in pain not even the closest would be there. it all voice down to the creator, the sustainer and the one who has power over All.

StyleIslam.com

I Truly Believe so.

i especially cannot stand people who disregard their

own mothers just so to blend in. What more if they claim themselves as muslims. sigh.

every time i feel like giving up, the faces of people who looked down upon my imperfections appears. its like a reflex. the sunburnt lips twins are especially distinct in my head. Thank you for being my source of motivation

survey tabulations

That person up there is the angel i met in life who is always there for me.

so basically today, school was alright. yeah just tired. and getting floods of texts from wolfie regarding F's Available job spots for him.

and so i had to finish up my survey for tabulation for F&N and fuck it,

some people take it lightly. for Christ sake its for O levels fucking noobs. if you fucking dont wanna do it just fucking say no and dont give me fucking answers that dont make

fucking sense. yeah maybe they make sense to your dense brains! Apparently, i take my education seriously unlike you fucktards. To hell with you and i pray your children wont take after your fucking fucked up attitude. run along now little brats. fucking to hell with you fucking bitches. _|_

basically school after that was fine, had a joy of time with my babes. love all of you to bits and pieces.

-monsie

Zombiefied

Since Friday,

Shanny had been treating me lunch.

Friday, We Had Popeye's and today we had Burger King.

I just had a Cheeseburger today though bestest kept insisting that i have some of her fries too.

Its very nice to have someone in your life who really cares so much about you, after your family.

It feels alright for me to spent money on shanny, but it feel strange if she spends her money on me :(

From tonight on, i Vow, to not eat out anymore. at least if i want to, i will buy my own food home.

Shanny is fast asleep now. And i know i ought to do the same. I guess i wont be able to turn in that early tonight rendered by the lost of F&N files. _|_

Sometimes, i feel that i am forced to be independent on my own. and nobody in this house gives a damn about my well being. especially annoying younger brothers. i wish i never had them in my life. they are so full of themselves. Umi has been very occupied with her work recently, i guess i just have to get used to it.

I hope things get better. School wise and Home.

Im tolerating with everyone's expectations of me. I Wish there was somebody in my life who can be that someone that is always there to hear me and will know if something is wrong. Who will know when i say "im fine" that actually, deep down there is something bothering me, i used to have her in my life. but right now, even though she is still here, things are not quite the same,

nonetheless, i guess i ought to be thankful for nikita for always being there for me,

Goodnight fellow bloggers,

God Bless Us All

-Monsie

BurgerKing :D

Bahasa Melayuku

Hidupku Upama Ribut Taufan Di Hari Kelak

:(

ouch

My left arm hurts :(

too much typing of coursework and karangan and comprehension. :(

i cant write anymore cos my dominant arm hurts :(

i wish im right handed now. :(

Someone please massage my arm :(

_|_

I have no idea that my mum brought up a black sheep

im so upset with your Self centered attitude!

Why dont you fill your dense brain with EDUCATION?

He deleted my whole folder on my laptop!

Its filled with O Level F&N Stuff idiot!

ARGH! now i have to re-do everything again!

Younger Brothers Can Be Fucking Ruthless!

Yet Another Year Growing Old Together

Birthday Babe ^^

Happy 17th Birthday NusterArchibald!
I Hope you had lotsa fun during your surprise party like we did.
and i hope you enjoyed the small birthday tribute surprise video!

So, updates on the party! the cake turn out amazingly delicious. its handmade by the way. hahai baked the butter cake and eymacine decorated it! yay!



Seoul Garden was amazing, because apparently everyone was being very caring.
Eymacine was superbly motherly. ^^Michie cooked veggies for us. haha
and Feb, Nuster and myself were just being pampered. We ate what Eymacine and Michie cooked for us!



Then, we walked down to town with balloons and had a mini "Town party" took lotsa pictures and all of us stayed for sunset, ^^
Basically, although some things didint turn out the way i planned them to be,


im glad that there were small imperfections that made it perfect.

Honey, i hope you enjoyed your surprise party!!

^^

with love,
M


p.s the party was themed black and grey ^^

My Soul Sister

My Vampire has turned 17 *claps*
Im finally done with the birthday tribute video and its up on FB ^^
Tomorrow is Vampire's Mini Party!
I Hope it goes well. i have planned hard for this
The clique Helped out alot too.
I have a feeling that by the time the party is over, i will be sooooo tired. hehe

STAY TUNED. I MUST SAY, THIS IS THE FIRST PARTY I PLANNED OUT ALL THE SPECIFICS. HEHEHE