de-oh-pee-eee

i have so gotta let it out.

firstly, i extremely dislike walking behind people who smoke.
people who are smokers are self centred. you smoke in public and you share with us your FILTHY air that you "filtered" only for yourself. worst still if you smoke in places where there is no smoking allowed, self centred. SMOKING IS A GAY WAY TO TURNING SUICIDAL.

secondly i dislike people who call themselves MUSLIM but dont even act like one, what not, eating at non halal food places (you cant resist your own nafsu), wearing open clothings showing the whole world your breast and what not you think you have. Stupid muslim girls wearing tubes and hot shorts, may as well you dont wear anything oh and plusplus wearing bikinis to the beach?!!! may as well you just go to the beach and cover your nipples with nipple tapes! Asthagfir'Allah your parents never taught you Islam? where is your IMAN? your Ihsan??? I doubt you even pay your zakat every Ramadhan. I bet you dont even know the meaning of the syahadah, so why bother calling yourself Muslims. thats just something for you to live by right?! SHAMELESS

Thirdly, i dislike people who booze and take drugs, you think getting wasted is so cool? Gosh that is also another gay way of turning suicidal.

Fourthly, i dislike people and teenagers who make out in public, or show PDA (Public Display of Affection) OMGoth, i was in the train on my way home and i see all these little skimpy wearing malay girls and their boyfriends, hugging and kissing. its disgusting! Again, where is your iman?!!!

Fifthly, i dislike people who lie about themselves, making stories up to seem cool. the "yes, i bashed this boy up cos i was so mad with him, i almost killed him" the "i almost commit suicide"
why dont you just go lah eh, get lost from my face, im looking for people with ORIGINALITY who isnt afraid to tell me who they really are. (in this world, it is so difficult to find REAL people)


Sixthly, i dislike people who are rich and dont give to the poor. OH GOSH, the only reason why Allah blessed you with all the wealth, it is an amanah for you to share it with the poor! your parents never teach you is it?!!! The other day, i went out with this friend of mine, filthy rich this girl is, when there was a lady selling tissue paper, she just pushed that lady aside! and she call herself my friend?! OMGoth! and hell yeah i deleted her from my contact list. IDIOT. and she still calls me childish for doing that, but IM SORRY MISSY, I HAVE MY OWN SET OF PRINCIPLES.

And lastly, I dislike people calling me out to drink and party when they know that i am a straightedge. do you know what a straightedge is? go figure that out bitches and boys wannabe.
and no, that is not restricted. BEING STRAIGHTEDGE MEANS STAYING DISCIPLINED AND NOT GIVING IN TO WORLDY TEMPTATIONS.


LIKE MY BROTHER SAID, I DONT NEED ALL THIS, I HAVE ISLAM.





P.S i know im not perfect either but at least im doing my hardest to keep my religion. you are nobody if you dont respect me so get lost, i dont wish to acknowledge you, LESBIAN

Sharon

We've been seeing what you wanted,
Got us cornered right now
Falling asleep from our vanity
May cost us our lives
I hear them getting closer
Their howls are sending chills down my spine
And time is running out now,
They're coming down the hills from behind
When we start killing
It's all coming down right now
From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow(Wanna be awakened right now)
When we start killing
It all will be falling down
From the hell that we're in
All we are is fading away
When we start killing
We've been searching on and on
But there's no trace to be found
It's like they all have just vanished
But I know they're around
I feel them getting closer
Their howls are sending chills down my spine
And time is running out now
They're coming down the hills from behind
When we start killing
It's all coming down right now
From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow(Wanna be awakened right now)When we start killing
It all will be falling down
From the hell that we're in
All we are is fading away
When we start killing
When we start killing!
I feel them getting closer
Their howls are sending chills down my spine
And time is running out now,They're coming down the hills from behind
The sun is rising
The screams have gone
Too many have fallen
Few still stand tallIs this the ending
Of what we've begun?
Will we remember
What we've done wrong?When we start killing
It's all coming down right now
From the nightmare we've created
I want to be awakened somehow(Wanna be awakened right now)When we start killing
It all will be falling down
From the hell that we're in
All that we are is fading away
When we start killing When westart killing
When we start killing!



Sharon Has an amazing voice
dearest stranger, as you can see our band might be singapore's Within Temptation but Neither monsie mor GothicSara can ever be blessed with sharon's amazing voice ^^V

oh within temptation ^^V

P.S I Black Opera Goth

Hello 2010 and Hello Horrible People

Its Over, The year,

Crossroads; junctions of decisions forced onto you

you making decisions on impulse; spontaneously

and you, not knowing if it was the right choice

Its Over, The Year,

Downsets; life throwing lemons at you

you being all poised up

waving your hand at the slightest bit of misery

forcing a smile

chanting "nothing can hurt me, nothing can hurt me"

Its Over,The Year

You relentlessly fight battles of courage

to prove your worth,

to yourself

Its Over, The Year

You met new people

you filter them away with your countless preachings

your countless acts of comprehension

your countless acts of sacrifice

Its Over, The year

You Count your blessings like diamonds in your hand

your love for the people around you

but you not knowing if they cared for youthe same way too

Its Over, The year

Your family, always being there,

your lve for mummy grew stronger

Your affinity set root and grew

in the home where the heart is

Its Over, The year,

You Fought Well Monsie

FUXK 88%

How i wish you would care just like a Jacob Black

Strong And courageous

overprotective

but i must admit, you do have the sense of humour

am i asking for too much?

i just hope for you to understand that

i wish you would somehow get it

I Dont understand

Dear pieces, what are you up to?

I AM SO SICK
Thanks bestest for being there ;)

hahaha ^^V

Nadirah is a person who is alawys there for me. She is cute, funny sometimes weird too... Hahahaha...
But The most Important thing is that i know she is always there for me.
If I have problems that im facing she will always lend a listening ear.
If she have problems, I will always lend a listenting ear.She is a person that everyone will treasure if you get to know her for who she is.She is also a person who always cares about others and tries to solve all their problem one way or another.
Laughter is one other thing that she always have in her and her lame jokes always makes my day.
If it wasn't for her, I'll be damn bored at the office:)

Me And Monsie:P
Thanks for everything you have done for me.
Ill treasure our friendship till the end.
You are like a little sister to me.
No matter what happens i Know You are there for me.
And Im There for you!!!
Pics Everywhere!!!


@ lifeisalwayskillingme.blogspot.com
'hadad's

Nuster

Nuster, my Monster <333333

I ought to say that i am extremely grateful and will eternally be grateful for the heartprints you have left imprinted on me.

how you helped me overcome every obstacle that seemed forever to understand.

because what we have and what we hold is nothing close to describe as ABC.

because the trememndous shit we have been through is not as simple to describe but it is just something we both can understand because we both have been thorugh it together.

because my mum knows your mum

because my family knows your family

because we love your mum's puteri salat

because i love your brownies

because i understand you

because you are annoyingly adorable,

because i love you

Watch You In Secret From The Side Of My EyeFor Portents And Signs

That My World Will Turn Rightly Or Split Full Apart

On An Axis Of Thought or Simple Turn Of Phrase

I Started Out,If Not Wholly Complete

In Wonderment And Fear

You Burst Through with Labels Of Saviour And Keeper

With Claims Of Paradise To Be Found In Your Arm

With Boldness You Focused And Pinned Me In Place

I Think I Can't BreatheYour Words Froth Through Me Like Acid On Stone

Eroding My Knowing,My Light And Myself

I Watch As My Heart Is Smashed In Your Anger

Seared Hard At Your Whim

Now My Soul Peeks Through The Poorly Glued Cracks

And Glistens No More,Not Sacred Or Fine

TRUE HAPPINESS IS FOUND IN GIVING..

Your Happiness Will Give The Gift To Others In Your Life And Begin The Cycle That Will Return To You.Giving Love Allows You To Step Off The Roller Coaster Of Highs And Lows And Puts Your Mind In A Balanced State Of Happiness.You Must Love To Be Loved.Give Your Love Often and With Abandon.

-Nuster Shane Ezekiel Vampire =)








P.S Story

yesterday i met B to return her laptop. we sat down and chatted for awhile. ^..^

and then we left for ppopular. yay. hehe, wanted to get B her stationaries. so we did. hehe then when i wanted to calculate the total amount, JENGJENGJENG

i lost my phone!

panic x10000000000000000000

B ran back to the park and found it on the bench, whoo! thank God!

I Love you B(uddy) ;)

Companions

i rembered how we used to love each other's company. how we yearn for school to end early so we can run down to serene to get ice cream :) how we often get into trouble for hanging out at the "spa lady's" shop. How we manage to be there for one another. how we hang out almost every saturday. how we gossip about the littlest things. how we shared magazines for fashion tips, how we love to talk about dressing up and make up. How we spent recess talking about mangoes. how we love giving each other tips to hit on that guy. how we always bitch about sucky teachers. how we always sleep in geog. how much we hated miss siti. how much we learn to love her afterword. I Used to come early for school only to see all of you talking about the day ahead, and your plans. how i love all of you so much, i guess now things are different.

Sometimes i wonder if all this is my fault, if i should be put to blame.

one of us feels that she can no longer get along with us, she cut the string that ind us together, she chose rather to hang out with the boys.

one of us feels that she has changed, she has grown more mature. she listens to hardcore, and changing herself into someone we hardly recognize (maybe its just me)

And the rest of us find flaws in each other just to support the decision of leaving. because that is what it feels like now.

i know that everyone is trying to mellow the squabbles down but it doesnt seem to work that way. that day when i met all of you in town, i am suprised to feel that somehow a particular one of you just doesnt like me around. and thats why i left. im sorry babes but i really felt no need at all stayin in when wherever i wish to be, i was out.

and i am particularly sorry AJ, im sorry i let you down.

i wish somehow we will all be back to where we were.

i miss zeeqMonster x100000000000000000000000000000 :(

I love you all The same,

a trial into the past

I love my Family (Y)

and there are a million and one reasons why it ought to stay that way.

-monsie

dang

daNg with a capital N


Waiting for an iPhone is driving me insane. everytime i call starhub, it rings with that annoying music. pfft. starhub should have a new system whereby you can choose your song choice while waiting. something like within temptation or something, now thats great.

But i guess patience that is. haha. i guess i will only get it in march. hahah. oh and im passing down my E63 to Phyde. smartphone for someone smart, hahaha. (ok that ree lame)

Yesterday i saw the news. the top N level candidate is really happy cos she is getting an iPhone. hahah. shouldnt she say something nicer like "im really happy for making my parents proud" or " im glad that my hard work paid off, but i am sure, i have a long way to go" sigh, humanoids. they get elated at the slightest things. i hope you dont get complacent.

i need tuition, Humanities tuition, i want mr Anthony :(

PSP game cannot load :(
Bestest i wanna pinjam your memory card, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee :(


im still putting a thought to my new year's resolution. the list is still flowing.

ahhh monsie, the thoughts of iPhone is driving me crazy..............


:(


P.S bestest, i wanna see your english concept room soon! make sure you have that study table with all the stationaries and posters. and makes sure is Orange. Umi say that Fadilah kamsah say that orange is a good colour. ^^V
Love you, im still very x1000000000000 proud of you!




ehhhhhh alamak, starhub still havent answer yet la!! alamak biscuit takde cream betul !!!

-monsie

oopps
ps

*NURUL NADHIRAH BTE MOHAMED HARUN

euphoric

Euphoria


Thats what is engulfing my heart right now.
i scored an 11
hahahahha
can you believe that i got an A1 for malay?!
distinction for malay oral. haha

i got an A1- Malay
A2- science (bio/chem) & English
B3- Maths & F&N
B4- Humanities.

there you go zeeqy, my score.

Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers.

Congrats to all who made it. You fought well.

Let us not be complacent, half the battle is won, we shall work harder for the satisfaction of complete victory.

P.S i dont get it why people lie to themselves about scoring better than what they did. Does that make you feel better? sigh, you will never change. Whatever That floats your boat


congrats NURUL NADHIRAH BTE MUHAMMAD HARUN!!!


i am very very very very x100000000 proud of you.
you proved yourself wrong.

like i said, Intelligence is not a gift, its a gift after effort ^^V


-Monsie

Yes, im not gonna kill myself mum. hahahhahahahha

whXre

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears, if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me, me, me




I took Away your confidence, your ability to mix around, i took away your freedom, your everything. so what am i to you? i saw your pictures. i saw the past without me around. i figured that you seem so much better. so who are your friends now? its just me right, i fucking hate that. im not special anymore cant you see? i dont know what is in it for me, i dont want you to linger around here no more. go on now, be free. be gone. i have tied you down for far too long. its alright dont bother about me. i will be fine.

its so easy to torment me into much pain and suffering, your silence is all that it takes to crush the hopes i have built right in front of us. yes thats right, I have built, not US that was my fault. i never did asked you what you wanted, it was always about me.

im horrible.

Im a Monster

This Is A War We Cannot Win

There Is No Point Fighting,
We Will Never Win Inevitably

Ah so There It Goes uh, its that simple.
Dont use those handsocks to cover those sleeves you engraved on yourself.
Dont take off your barbels and studs in hoping that the holes will close.
Dont Regret what you reap for. I told you, it wouldnt be easy on you. You chose to be stubborn. Im disappointed in you. I really am. Now dont look for me to clean up your shit if you dont wish to co-operate. This is the path you chose, this is what you wanted. Look At mama, Crying on you. Look at mama ignore you. Is this what you really want? You Plan to throw all this away. All that you worked for, your la salle cert your degree throw everything away for THE REJECTION OF A GIRL YOU LOVE? Hey wake up please, this is not life, all those things you do to hurt yourself, just to seek her attention? She is long gone, please i care for you. I dont wanna see you wasted. I know you are jaded with your life but isnt everyone else feeling the same? You dont have to go through this alone. We are here, mama is here, the clan is here, i am here. Doesnt that matter?


ZeeqMonster, Wake up please.


Futsal was hurting. : (
Not to mention that i got squashed by a bigger person :O
OH Goth, why am i so small?
Toms Got injured, Mards went to the hospital :O
Why is everyone so fierce?
And there i am complaining to bestest of my aches hehe, thank you for ALWAYS being there for me bestest ;)

P.S Thanks For not coming down BSSFL, i guess you far too busy wallowing in self pity.

Damn

Damn what makes you think i do like you?


I just recieved a text msg from his gf,
i dint confess to him saying that i do like him, WTH
cant you see, at times, being humans, i admire beautiful people, and i admire your BF's intelligence and his poetry,
DAMN! and now she doesnt allow me to to text nor meet up with her bf anymore. uh

THANKS FIR FOR TELLING YOUR GF THAT I "CONFESSED INTO LIKING YOU"

Now look at what your beautiful disaster is doing? :O

Damn you,

____

-Monsie

Thank heavens

Thank heavens Bestest Has returned home from kelantan, the above incident happened at the same mall that bestest go to almost everyday :O

so close, :OO

Global warming :(
The Jaenschwalde brown Coal power station in Cottbus eastern Germany.

Our Earth Is At Stake

:(

I cant wait for school to be reopened,
i cant wait for God To see Through My results
because i know, deep down when i am in trouble, God has helped me ALOT.

P.S i had a pree sucky lunch -.-

Strange

I Guess Im Not The Only Strange Character You Can Find On Earth.

1. There Are The Kind Of People Who Pretends To Be Ill When She Isnt (to seek attention)
2. There Are The Kind Of People Who Truly Feels She Knows Everything And Refuses TO Be Corrected
3. There Are The Kind OF people who disappears for awhile and return back asking why i did not look for her
4. There are the kind of people who dares to gossip behind your back and when you call her upfront she "magically" disappears and call her friends involved.
5. There Are The kind of people who thinks that her children are the best in the world that she can never fucking shut her trap. (Goddamnit, You only have two fucking children and you have a husband too to raise them up, and if your children are not successful then that makes you a complete FAILURE sheep.
6. There are the kind of people in the world who thinks that people will get ucking shaken with her nameless threats of brnging the law in (-.-)
7. There are the Kind Of People in the world who says they care for you and the next moment disappears.
8. There are the kind of people win the world who thinks that everyone HAS to bow down to her because she has alot of money.
9. and lastly, There are the kind Of People in the world who talks to you nicely and then makes a big WHO HA and tells his GF that You confessed int likeing him -.-"

Yes, we are all strange in our own way. But still, i consider myself an oddity.

ANNA SUI ;)

Eshia, Im glad to hear you are recovering, Cancer can be really painful, like i promise you, i will be here if you need me.

Jowel, happy flying back, like i told you, running away from your problems aint gonna help ease your burden, soon, they will still find you, its just a matter of time.

MonsterZir, im glad you came back, like people who come and go in my life, you came, andyou went, BUT you came back. ;)

yesyes, nero is coming back from cambodia!!

yayeeeee!!!

-Monsie

The Spirits That We Are Fighting For

Im Exactly Alright
Im Healing
Im Strong

Whoa

Thank You For All Who Have Wished Me ;)

Thank you
Madihah
Fir
Bridget
Taufiq
Rini
Mahera
Nasha
Wei Han
Desiree
Phriya
Rashi
May
Syafiqah
Danial
Gee
Andri
Ayul
Alyy
Hajar
Odzy
Dagna
Nina
Bonda
Zyzy
IJah Ladyscene
Kee Riley
Brenda
Asyikin
Geraldine
Khai
Zaschalini (SP?)
Lydia
Diyy
Shai
Jo
Feb
Sasha
Hadad
Vamprak
AJ
Esmaralda
Surr
Rina
Hazel
Eshia
Tyzz
Pritisha

For Your FB and MSN and TEXT wishes :)

Thank You
BAD ASS CLAN for surprising me last night
with that phone call and you know what.


Thank you
annoying sister for calling me a loser,
Thank you bonda and umi for that unexpected kiss

Thank You
kak yati, kak syafia and pak usop for the mini birthday party.


Thank You
SHANE for always being there for me all the time
Thank you for "ignoring" me the whole day.
Thank you for giving me the security i needed.

Thank You
OverDosed Chaos for the letters and cake
and thank you MC for baking it.
(Picture Insert)

Thank You
Aj
for posting the blog post of unglam photos ust for me, hehe

Who Would Have thought,
i had everything i wanted in life,
I have people who cares for me,
im just being oblivious to their presence.


Thank You Everyone For Everything ;)




Lastly,

I dont find you attractive,
what makes you think i like you?
what made you tell your gf i liked you liar?
do you need a mirror?
Gosh! please dont make me a cookoo in your r/s FID!


I was stupid, totally oblivious to the people who cared for me,
i dont need you to remember my birthday,
you are history,
people come and go in life
and you are just one of them
have fun ;)


Shane, I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!



If God Were To take away the world and gave me a choice to choose a companion,
it will no longer be my cat,
it would be YOU ;)
For you know me so well,
but yet you suck (a lil) at birthdays.

(L) Cute Snub Nose
;)

-Monsie

368th

Life never had been better.
The little imperfections in it, is what makes it perfect.
Yes and so people can try their hardest to pull down my self esteem, to hurt my family.
I cant do anything can i?
I cant change the situation but i can change the way i react to it.


I most certainly am excited for the 18th ;)

Ohh all the neurons are giving out its electrical sparks by nature ;)


And, i have figured out what i wanna do for my future. I have planned everythinng out.
With determination, strength and faith in Allah,
Insya'Allah, i can make it through.


My mum can no longer give a shit about what you think of her. As long as she is standing straight she wont feel threatened by her crooked shadow.

And excuse us all, we have a life to lead. Our life doesnt revolve around your malicious gossips and your ever-so-trying effort of bringing us down. I will fight this war you started. Nobody steps on my mum's head and gets away with it. Hear us mudlocks. You ought to be ashamed of bringing up such indignified children.
You both have a husband , a complete family. You ought to bring up your children well. Oh but i feel sorry for your failure. Your failure of installing values and morals in your children.
What a shame.


This war you started only makes it easier for us to cut ties, something that we have been wanting to do eversince you both took my mum for granted.


What a shame. And you call yourself parents?

FML

The fire rages in me,
Never want to see the roses on your door.
The glass that separates our touch, Soaring into the unknown skies fearing what we're fighting for.
This is a war we cannot win,
Our last time to make stars collide right before our eyes,
I Believe in everything .. everything you've ever known
Reciting words we lost .. these years will never be untold
I won't be alone
The fire rages in me,
Daylight fights through the night with the cries of redemption
The sun will ignite the lights in our eyes...And is this possible? (Y)
Our last time to make stars collide right before our eyes
I Believe in everything .. everything you've ever known
Reciting words we lost .. these years will never be untold

This time we fight ... side by side ... you and I

The bringers of light ... the teeth in the night wont be alone


FML

-Monsie

Im Sorry I Disappoint you,
I KNow You Were Just Trying TO help The Situation,
and i really deserved that earshot and those crude remarks from all of you.

Sometimes, i dont know why i have soft spots for everyone,
Sucks, terribly,

I still Love All Of you the same,
Its just the time of my life that i wished i had time to prepare for,

Our Clan Mates status?

Awkward.


-Monsie