this isnt about us. its me. I Really feel unwanted right now. i hope this sucly atitude will end soon. zeeq, spill things to me please


Emptiness have darkened my eyes as i helplessly beg for my life to end
Zeeq, tell me why, my eyes are sewn shut, unable to see her smile, hear her voice, feel her presence. tell me why.

Thanks again for Creating her misery
And you ran away with fake friends
I'm sick of your sad songs and singalongs
I kind of like it when things are wrong.
Why Dont You Wake Up and remeber
the times you used to spent together
i can never make her happy for long
im just trying to be strong
deep down in her, its you she chooses
i can never be good enough for her
Why cant you realize she can never be happy with me?
you were her best friend.
you threw her away like a trend?



Horibble misery. Thanks zeeq for making me realize, who i truly am. Dont say you`re sorry zeeq. its not your fault. covered in blood laced misery. would you rather kill me?



-Kiss my bloodshot eyes shut

I can't explain what's happening inside of me. I refuse to fight you anymore.All I know is I have to make sure you never wake up again
Soft flesh gives way to trembling hand...
beautiful eyes are sewn shut, searing thread suffocates the light


I`ll Listen to Alesana


Goodbye Goodnight For Good

Dont Avoid Me,
I Understand You Have Feelings For Me,
And Its alright.
But Dont Avoid me.
We can still Be as close.
I admit, I do feel a lost when you avoid me.




Hey, Watch what you say! You Hurt Her Once I wont let you do it again! Keep Quiet huh? Would you Like me to silence you forever? Becareful what you say, You wont look as Good when you are forced to eat your words. Dont allow this hate in me sent you burning to the very core of hell where you belong. Dont play nice, You hurt her again, You`ll die. Heed my warnings. I have Real Friends, Unlike you sucka. I Hate you, Deal with that!



-MonsterGirl

Rejected



But I`m Alright

haha! Zeeq bad ass sweet shit skater! Im gonna burn your hse down! That makes you 22 years older than me! haha!

-Monster Girl

Lots of things are happening right now. its all being thrown on to me all at a time. Sometimes we have to keep on moving but everytime we tell ourselves not to give up, a certain memory of the past remind us how much we have failed then, thus it keeps you from moving forward. God, please make us stronger. We are humans after all. We deserve a chance.

Zeeq, im sorry i turned out this way. Im strong but i cant face it if it turns out this way.
Sara, Im sorry i isolate myself. I think its the best way.
JAMMARC, Thanks for always being there for me. Through thick and thin. But i think, this time, i wanna face this alone. I Dont want things to turn ugly because of this. You guys noe what im referring to. Its the matter of life and death. Once you agree to help me, there is no turning back. This thing is powerful. I have problems restraining myself.

To You, Im sorry. I know you have problems of your own too. im willing to help you. Just give me a chance to. i promise never to forsake you and always be there for you if you need me. Please, give me a chance,. I know what you are going through. Its not easy, i know. But dont let that affect you. You are strong. Please. Believe.


Losing Track Of time is the most i asked from life.

I hope this will all be over soon. Differences makes us stronger.



Dear zahirah, I hope things will get better with your friendship now im gone from the picture. i hope this past few days i have been isolating myself from school, your friendship with her improves as there isnt an idiot to bug you. Maybe this is the best way. I`ll be glad to absent myself more so long it makes the situation better. Yes i know, i carry a murderer around. Perhaps that is the cause for all our miseries. Kudos to you. May your friendship be stronger, now that im gone.





-MonsterGirl

death never seem so real

whaddup. today was a disater. it started out with strange events that happened at home too coincidently. i was feeling really bad and wanted to break down and cry in school, but AMALINA managed to cheer me up! Thanks yah (:

Bestie and i today was talking about some stuff on OCH and witchcraft. Yes, i am in trouble. Thank God, i have friends who will stick with me to the end. I Love you guys D:


So i burnt my finger. and ouh, i have a really adoroble friend, who mistook SUGAR for SALT and she baked the cake with SALT! Guess how it tasted like? Salty! HAHA Damn cute ah please!


Today, i got a new deck! His name is dexter! i skate when i reached home. Bloody idiots stare at me and zeeq like WTH ah. Nvr see Goths on decks is it!!




- To whoever, sometimes, when you push someone too hard, the person might not resurface. I understand your situation. But why do you rather hurt me then them? do you think i just have about enough?



Im gonna find out who i am. Im gonna prove them wrong. i will make this through.