So here is another sleepless night. im staying up to finish up my F&N. I dont know where to start, today is a complete mess. i`ll just summarize everything. today, i came to learn that my existence has caused many conflicts and friendships to be broken. I dont know, right now, i crave for alesana.
The only thing that makes me control is alesana. i cant believe i can still cry at any given moment. i guess its jealousy. "Jealousy Rears its ugly head, I wont forget The things you said before you turned your back . Goodbye Goodnight For good" at instances like this, i begin to realize, who i truly am. It Doesnt take too much to die. its just a jump away. i find my comfort in gore. God, what is wrong with me? Why do you make me this way? Am i born to look like a living example of a failure? God, please, if the world will be a better place to live in when im gone, please take me away. I deserve my punishment in hell for all the good things i never said to people. Sometimes its hard to imagine how much shit you can get yourself into because of curiosity. I need to save myself from the hell of trouble i got myself in. Im geting a deck tomorrow, I hope that is where i can let it all out. Skating. I let my Dark side out, and im gonna let it reign. Something about me doesnt seem to belong. I need a break. God, Put me in coma. I think i just have about enough. i need a break now.



To whom it may concern, My deepest apology cause i have went against your words. I ventured into the paranormal. Now its time to learn my mistakes so you will never have to do it. I know how much, the tatoo means to you, i apologize for the good things i never said about you. Being in a position where im caught up with you and school, i need to save myself from this agony. I used myself in anguish. Just to prove to you i was sorry. Isnt that enough for you to come back alive? Please, wake up. Death does not mean you are gone. Wake up please. I am really sorry. If only you can see the state i am now, i bet you wouldnt have let ur life go. It was precious till you gave it away. Please come on home. I`ll be waiting for your call. I miss you.